But Daddy, I want a Substack!

And I'm my own daddy now, so here it is!

RIP Veruca Salt. But also, my actual Dad.

Hello Friends¹!

I’ve been trying to find an easier way to stay connected to y’all - one that feels a little more casual (read: less video editing), and is less likely to get me bullied by 20-something archaeologists in the comments of a children’s app. I mean, it’s fine to bully me, but you should:

1. Be at least 30 years of age

2. NOT have your head up the skeletal ass of the seventeenth century French aristocracy.

So what can you expect here?

This. Thoughts. Maybe little drawings? Things I think you should know, like how my partner, Pete, and I like to come up with Star Wars Universe names. My favorite so far?

Skinflap Tugnut.

You know, of the Batuu Tugnuts! His parents are the Honorable Gruntle Tugnut, and Dr. Spaghet Tugnut…they live in the same quadrant as Berkenbar Moistron’s Bed and Breakfast. YOU DON’T KNOW BERKENBAR MOISTRON’S B&B?! So you’re telling me, you haven’t been to one of Cliptar and Oht Shidcorn’s droid orgies?!

Too late now, they’re both dead. Happened exactly how you think it happened.

Back to what to expect: delightfully unhinged musings (see above). Maybe an audio note or two. Definitely anything I learn about food safety (don’t handle ham without protection). Important things!

Speaking of which, if you have a few minutes (and the supplies), consider sending a couple postcards (via Postcards to Voters) to Ohio residents regarding abortion rights! They’re currently on the ballot (again!), and a hand-written postcard is a great nudge to protect reproductive freedom for all.

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Hot Tip Alert: Postcarding while watching TV takes away the guilt of luxuriating in your favorite Fall-inspired program (pronounced “pro-grim”) for the umpteen thousandth time!

When Harry Met Sally

Gilmore Girls

Sleepless in Seattle 2: You’ve Got Mail

Practical Magic

Every last Legend of Sleepy Hollow

What’s your favorite Autumnal content? I got some youth voters to register and the envelopes aren’t gonna address themselves!

That’s it for this installment! Keep an eye on my Etsy store, as I’ve been making festive, spoopy earrings that I’m going to release in the next week or so! Also, there are a few hand-thrown mugs for sale that I made at Clay on First, right here in Long Beach, California!

Thanks for being here, friends.

Tah-tah for now!

Nicole

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1. You’re receiving my first Substack post because you signed up to hear from me, either through my personal website or DTFU Podcast! If you’d prefer not to receive my substack emails in the future, please unsubscribe below, no hard feelings!