omg hi!

Not every Substack Post has to be a novel, Nicole.

Bitch, why’d I let the puh-ressure of perfection keep me from Substackin’ with y’all? I haven’t been here since NOVEMBER 2023. Almost a whole-ass year!

In that time, I:

• Adopted a dong (typo, and it stays), Steve

• Went to Joshua Tree

• Got a frenectomy and bangs

• Turned [redacted] years old

• Crossed Casa Bonita off of my bucket list!!!

• Got COVID for the 2nd time

• Got an ultrasound on my right t*tty for the 2nd time

• Was an accessory to an actual coup

• Launched a Baywatch Recap podcast

• Grew out my bangs

• Started a Reba rewatch

Steve, the do(n)g.

Gonna keep this short to work on my feelings of Substack posts *needing* to be 3,000 word essays, to be worthwhile. Would love to hear what you’ve been up to!

Chat to you soon!

Nicole