End of an Era

Now who will talk of Terrible Men, Rampant Disease and Cryptids' genitals??

The Pigman of Vermont is the most fuckable cryptid, hands down.

First of all, he’s pig from the neck up, which means he has human-male anatomy, so his fuck parts are compatible with our fuck parts. (Can’t say the same for Bigfoot or Mothman.) Second, this piggy doesn’t stay home: he clearly hits the gym on the reg, so you can bet those hocks are hamming. Third, pigs notoriously don’t shit where they eat, thus you’ll never have to worry about him pressuring you into a Cleveland Steamer (however, if you’re into scat play, he might be open to it - pigs also like to roll around in mud - but that’s a conversation between y’all).

Credit: Mark W. Kramer Designs. Notice the meticulously illustrated vascularity in his arms (and elsewhere, I’m guessing).

Sexualizing cryptids is a regular occurance on “Dude, That’s F****d Up,” a loosely-researched comedy podcast I host alongside my best friend, Erin Saul.

Why? We’re clearly unhinged.

However, after almost seven years of podcasting, we announced this week, that we’re ending DTFU Podcast. Not for any reason in particular - it just felt like time.

My Instagram farewell to the pod.

And I know it sounds odd when I say our goal was to “end it on a high note” when it’s clearly so depraved, but we are very proud of our accomplishments. In fact, let me get a quick little brag in from our 2022 Spotify Unwrapped:

In a landscape of 5M+ podcasts, we did pretty good!

So this week, I wanted to countdown a few of my favorite conversations on the pod, the wildest things I have learned during episode prep, and the topics that made us infamous.

• 10. There's cult where members have to get their clit stroked for (arguably) far too long

@dtfupodcastAll cult, all cl(i)t. #cults #podcast #comedytiktok #onetaste #burnttoast #dtfupodcast @whohaha

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• 9. When the EMTs found horrible husband John Wayne Bobbitt’s dick (which was famously lopped off and left for dead on the side of the road), the receptacle used to transport it to the hospital was a 7-Eleven hot dog bag

• 8. BMIs are totally made up and not a real measure of anyone’s health

• 7. Of the many on-the-spot TV pitches Erin and I have made over the years, Fatberg Forensics™️, a show about two door-to-door fatberg investigators, is my favorite

• 6. A British Pilot was sucked off onto a plane, nips first

• 5. A Chicago Architectural Tour Boat of innocents was technically shat on by DMB

  • Also learned (via TikTok comments) DMB fans do NOT have a sense of humor

@dtfupodcastSorry to all the Dave Heads. #davematthewsband #jamband #phish #fruitspread #smuckers #comedypodcast

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• 4. Casa Bonita is a real-life place and I WILL get there in 2024

• 3. Blues pioneer Lucille Bogan Shaved Em’ Dry, so Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion could WAP

• 2. The middle name of Marshall Applewhite, leader of the infamous Heaven’s Gate cult, was HERFF

• 1. Louis XIV had two buttholes*

@nicolemackieReplying to @minimumchamp more context on Louis XIV’s 2nd BH! #dtfupodcast

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*Okay, technically, he had an abcess-turned-fissure, but this is a comedy podcast.

I am so proud of us for doing this thing. I am so proud of myself for constantly leveling up, learning new skills that led us to (more brags incoming) viral Tiktoks, Spotify’s 2022 Video Beta and other cool things.

When we release our final episode on November 29th, 2023, we will have published over 340 episodes to 63 countries, reaching thousands of people we’ve never met, who have streamed our voices over ONE MILLION TIMES.

Wild.

But it’s bittersweet. Not only is a friendship tangled up in this thing, I dreamed big for this podcast. I dreamed big for myself, in doing this podcast. And so many of my dreams have yet to come true. It has made ending the podcast feel like I’m giving up. It’s impossible to move on from something my dreams feel so tethered to.

And yet, my dreams only feel tethered to the podcast, when in fact, they are tethered to me, lifting me up like the balloons released in the 1986 Cleveland Balloon Disaster (okay, not a great analogy). Drifting along with my dreams will most certainly lead to my next adventure, where some of these suckers might even become realized. And that makes me so excited for what’s to come.

This has been an affirming, fulfilling and ridiculously fun chapter. Thanks for being a part of tit (typo and it stays).

xo Nicole